Sunday, October 5, 2008

Experimenting in the Bedroom: A query

I'm a curious person. So I have to ask:

How do you experiment in the bedroom? Not specifically, I mean, I don't want details. But what I'm asking is, where does your inspiration for trying new things come from? As a writer, I know you can't sit around and wait for inspiration. And as a runner, I have certainly tried to go out and chase it. But I'm wondering...where do you go in search of inspiration in the bedroom? Books? Fantasies? Imagination? Your partner? says: "research on sexual fantasy points to the fact that a healthy sexual fantasy life goes hand in hand with a healthy overall sex life. "

We don't generally talk about our sexual lives within our peer groups, so it doesn't seem likely to find inspiration there. The little porn I've seen certainly lacks imagination. And I've been married and know how interest can wane over time. But this is one of those times when I envy the French. They seem to have a healthier perspective on sex.

Confirmation: there is a Sexual Attitudes Scale (S. Hendrick & Hendrick) that the Journal for Sexual Research talks about " reflecting a variety of values, attitudes, and orientations to sex, attempting to address traditional areas of sex attitudes (e.g., permissiveness, premarital sex) as well as sexual responsibility, what sex "means" in an emotional sense, and so on." And finds, "the French appear as more permissive, less responsible, more instrumentalist, and less interested in communion than the U.S. participants" (p. 213)"

Ok, I'm all for it! But the "a healthy sex life starts with good communication." line isn't usually part of the parents talk about the birds and the bees...nor is it covered in Sex Ed in school. JT and I are both "bringin' sexy back" !

You may consider this post my contribution to the conversation and to better sexual health! And though I'm not French, I'm curious enough to ask. What are your thoughts?

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
~Swami X

PS. Have you done your kegels today?


Anonymous said...

Reminds me of a favorite bumper sticke: sex is like pizza. When its good, its very very good. When its bad, its STILL pretty good.

el jefe said...

Think of stuff. Then try it. But also try not to startle your partner too much, though most injuries heal fairly quickly.

WineDiverGirl said...

Great sense of humor from you both! I'll bet that is a great ingredient to luscious experimentation!

Anonymous said...

Luscious experimentation indeed. Its all about taste. And humor.

Anonymous said...

Honey, I have seen your 12 second Hahn Cab Franc video like 100 times.

That's all the fantasy I need.

Anonymous said...

While thoughts and emotions always play a role in getting an erection, erectile dysfunction is usually caused by something physical, such as a chronic health problem or the side effects of a medication.